Will I love my second baby as much as my first?

Mum and baby in nature

Bonding with another newborn

Many parents can’t quite believe that it’s possible to love a second child as much as they love their first. What if they’re more difficult? What if they don’t look like you? What if they’re not so full of personality?! From pregnancy and labour right through to the effect on family life, having a second child can be a very different experience.

Lots of mums worry that they won’t bond as instantly as they did the first time, but often the reason parents feel they aren’t bonding as quickly with a second child is simply down to time. Having another child to look after means you might not be able to spend quite as much time getting to know your new baby as you did your first.

On the other hand, your newborn might demand a lot more attention, which can make mums and dads feel guilty that they’re not giving an older child the love and time they’re used to. And if you feel a stronger bond with your newborn than with your first born, that can leave you feeling guilty, too. For others, a better-behaved baby can leave you feeling a little useless. It can be a minefield of unexpected emotions!

Babies on bed

Making time to get to know each other

What can feel like a juggling act to start with should soon settle down once your baby gets into a routine. The best thing to do is to let go of any feelings of guilt. Getting used to your new family set-up will take time, as will getting to know your new baby. Accept that you have a new, very different child, so you’re bound to love them in a different way; not more, not less – just different. Love is impossible to measure so try not to worry; everything will even out in time.


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