The browser you are using is too old for our website. Please visit www.cgbabyclub.co.uk from Chrome and you will be able to browse normally.

Feeling judged on my family size

family-size-promo.png

Feeling judged on my family size

Not already a member? Join now for free to get more exclusive #LDJ stories?

Join the club

“Even when they’re good as gold, somebody will have to have a dig”.


If you’re raising a big family or a small one, chances are you’ve had your fair share of judgemental comments and questions. But when it comes to raising a family, whatever the size, the only right way is the one that works for you.

chat-icon-circle.png

Looking for support, not judgement?

We'll give you the reassurance you need to parent your way.

Average family size in the UK


According to the Office for National Statistics, in 2020 the average size of the UK household was 2.41. And that’s not 2.4 children, that’s a statistic covering the entire household. One thing’s for sure, family dynamics are never static, and what’s changed is how those families look, and the different ways in which they’re choosing to raise their children.

 

Raising a big family


There are many reasons why you might choose to have a large family. But whatever those reasons are, they’re yours and yours alone. Unfortunately though, judgement happens.

You might find yourself faced with completely unnecessary questions and comments, for example, ‘are they all yours?’ or ‘you’ve got your hands full’.


What is the effect of family size on child performance?


A potential worry for anybody raising a big family, is the effect of family size on child performance. Are children of big families more likely to struggle academically? Does having a larger family mean less resources and less time to help your children learn?

Whilst there’s some evidence to suggest that children of smaller families may perform better in terms of their education2, there’s also no doubt that children of big families learn other skills, such as sharing, teamwork and self-sufficiency. So ultimately, it’s swings and roundabouts.

family-size.png

Raising a small family


On the other side of the parenting coin, some parents choose to have just one or two children. But just like parents raising bigger families, they also experience the same kind of questions and comments. For example, ‘when are you having your next one?’ or, if they’ve already had two children of the same sex, ‘are you going to try for a boy/girl next?’

Parents raising only children are labelled with even more misconceptions and unwarranted opinions. Suggestions that their child will be spoiled or lonely, or that they’ll be unable to share or mix appropriately with others3, to name just a few.

Feeling judged as a single or lone parent


In 2019, lone parent families accounted for 14.9% of UK families4. So if you’re feeling judged, know that you won’t be the only parent feeling this way.

Relationships break down and couples separate. Sometimes there are children involved. What you need to know is that being a single parent doesn’t mean that you’re on your own, and it certainly doesn’t mean that  you’re doing a bad job.

How to raise a family, whatever yours looks like


“You’re doing amazing, you know? You’re not doing anything wrong. As long as that baby’s happy and content, you’re doing your job”.


At the end of the day, whether you're raising a small family or a big one, whether you’re a lone parent or part of a couple, the rules of the game are the same.

Here are our top tips for raising a happy family, whatever its size:

  • Carve out some one on one time. It’s lovely to spend time all together, but making sure you spend some quality time with each of your children is really nice too.
  • Whatever your family dynamic, raising children isn’t always easy. Take time for yourself, you deserve it.
  • As long as it’s done safely, there’s no reason your children can’t help with certain jobs around the house. Whether it’s setting the table, putting their clothes away or tidying away their toys, this can be a really fun learning opportunity no matter the size of your family.
  • Take control of the decision making. If who sits next to who at the dinner table causes an argument, make a seating plan. If bath nights and uniform requirements cause chaos, diarise them. Putting into place a no-nonsense approach to parenting can really help maintain a happy household.

But most important of all? Be proud of the family you’re raising, and make sure your children are proud too. The more confident you are in the choices you make, the more likely you are to challenge judgement.

At the end of the day, there’s no such thing as a perfectly sized family. The right number of children for you, is the number of children you have. And if you love them, everyone’s happiness will follow. 

More inspiration to help you to love, not judge!


#LoveDontJudge is here to help you find the confidence you need to parent your baby your way. Whether that’s coping with your baby’s public meltdowns, or putting your mind at rest about your baby’s development, you’ll find all the support you need here at C&G baby club.

Read more from #LoveDontJudge.

community-page.png

Explore how we’re embracing #LoveDon'tJudge 


Here at C&G baby club, we’re bringing together parents and families who are committed to loving more and judging less. Discover different experiences, support and guidance and words of wisdom that will help you trust that you know what’s best for your baby.
 

Learn more


From your baby’s health to organising your paternity leave, we’re here to help, every step of the way

Share your #LoveDontJudge story and discover what other parents are saying

Looking for support not judgement? #LoveDon'tJudge

Join the club

Your privacy is important to us and therefore we would like to explain how we use cookies on this website. With your consent, we will use cookies to measure and analyse how our website is used (analytical cookies), to tailor it to your interests (personalisation cookies), and to show you relevant advertising and information (targeting cookies) we think you will like. For more information please read the cookie statement.

Privacy Settings

You can choose your preferences anytime for cookies and tracking. For more information please read our cookie policy.

  • Strictly necessary

    They are necessary for the website to function and cannot be switched off. They are usually only set in response to actions made by you which amount to a request for services (setting your privacy preferences, logging in, filling in forms, etc.). You can set your browser to block or alert you about these cookies, but some parts of the site will not then work.

  • Analytical cookies

    They allow us to count visits and traffic sources, to measure and improve the performance of our site. They show us which pages are the most and least popular and how visitors move around the site. If you do not allow these cookies we will not know when you have visited our site, and will not be able to monitor its performance.

  • Personalisation cookies

    They enable website’s enhanced functionality and personalization. They may be set by us or by third parties whose services we have added to our pages. If you do not allow these cookies, some or all of these services may not function properly.

  • Targeting cookies

    They may be set through our site by our advertising partners, to build a profile of your interests and to show you relevant adverts on other sites. They do not store directly personal information, but are based on uniquely identifying your browser and internet device. If you do not allow these cookies, you will experience less targeted advertising.